I Hate to Break It to You, But Your Logline Isn't Working

(Be like Hermione…study, read, practice, be smart.)

I am going to vent a little bit in today’s post, but it’s because you all need to hear it. I’ll hold myself back as much as I can. Please remember that I am coming to you with love and positive intention here, I swear.

Your logline sucks.

OK, so maybe I didn’t hold myself back. I will give it a little bit of a caveat to hopefully redeem myself. MOST of you A) don’t know what a logline is or does, and B) don’t spend enough time practicing and re-working and rewriting your logline.

Folks, I can’t explain it to you in more basic terms - your logline is so very important. I would go so far as saying that your logline is just as essential and important as your script. Why? It’s because your script is merely a blueprint - an invitation to collaborate with other creative people. It is NEVER the final shooting script. Never. What you present in script form to producers or executives WILL be changed and rewritten. The percentage of the rewrite depends on many factors (ex. you’re directing and shooting the script yourself, and/or how closely you’re working with the producers and director, as well as how much development you’ve done on the script prior to submitting it/shopping it). Still, at its most basic level the logline represents what the project is on a level of marketing, potential audience, mandate requests (ie. if a company even wants a genre like yours), and conceptual possibility (the hook).

Where managers are concerned: they look at the concept before they look at writing ability and talent. They focus much more on your writing ability and talent, for sure, compared to producers and directors, and it’s because they usually end up repping you over the course of multiple projects (hopefully, anyway). They’re also looking at character (YOUR character, not the script’s character), your willingness to work, take notes, apply those notes, and how personable and talented you are in a room. But first and foremost they’re thinking, “Can I sell this project and this writer?” Granted, a logline can’t necessarily show a manager all of those things, but…a really snappy, well-written, well-executed, and obviously honed logline CAN give the manager a lot more confidence in reading you.

The logline is the first line of defense, and defense is needed in this industry. What do I mean by that? There are so many writers out there who believe that their ONE script, their one amazing science fiction, massive world, three-part space opera is going to make them a fortune. There are so many writers who don’t believe in education, or taking classes, or immersing themselves in writing groups. There are so many writers who haven’t done (or continually do) their research and studied the industry to understand how it works and why it works. Producers, executives, managers, and agents can spot uneducated amateurs from a mile away. Why? Because most of the submissions they receive are from writers who are relying on one-hit wonders, and haven’t spent enough time educating themselves. Too many writers think that because there is so much crap produced and released into theatres that they can do it better…but while only relying on their basic, innate storyteller. Every person is a storyteller. Not every person is a screenwriter. The only way you become a WORKING screenwriter is by investing in yourself, your writing, your education.

Whew. OK…I have been harsh and critical and judgmental long enough. I’m just being honest with all of you, and sometimes it hurts to deliver the honesty and to receive the honesty. The reason for my harshness stems from how frustrated I am FOR you and so many screenwriters. I know how hard you work. I know how badly you want this. I know how much time and effort you put into your creativity, craft, and career pursuits. You want this so bad, and you’re constantly submitting to contests, writing gigs, querying friends and agents and managers and producers. I know how exhausting this is, but when I see writers who are obviously not putting in enough time, effort, and investment in themselves and in their careers, I get a little angry (if I can be so honest). I’m angry because I see so much potential being wasted because you’re being impatient and not putting in the major league effort that you need to put in. Submitting to contests and ISA Writing Gigs isn’t enough. That isn’t the “major league effort” I’m talking about. The effort lies within your constant, daily focus on writing, educating yourself through classes, writing groups, and receiving notes and feedback. And then do it again…and again…for the rest of your career.

And far too often is it glaringly noticeable that a writer didn’t even read the requested mandate of a Writing Gig opportunity.

It all starts with the logline.

The most popular element to the Int’l Screenwriters’ Association (ISA), by far, is the ISA Writing Gigs. For one, it’s popular for good reason; these are real jobs, opportunities, and script calls that I and my ISA cohorts work our little bums off to find, cultivate, and share with you…and that’s putting it very lightly.

Just to give you a little behind-the-curtain…

The ISA reads and reviews over 25,000 screenplays every year…most of which are sent through the ISA Writing Gigs. Most Writing Gig posts and opportunities receive thousands of submissions (and that’s not an exaggeration in the least). While we all know and understand that this industry is cutthroat and extremely difficult to find success in, that should be all the more reason for you to work even harder and focus on developing every aspect of your writing. The Writing Gigs are an amazing opportunity for you to gain direct access to calls for scripts. It can also be VERY difficult to crack in through a Writing Gig simply based on the numbers. It is NOT a lottery, however.

The ISA’s team of readers and executives take the submissions very seriously. I know that it can at times feel like you don’t receive any confirmation as to the progress of your submission, but that is largely due to the fact that most companies and producers who share the Gig opportunity aren’t simply noting whether or not the script has been passed on. The hard truth? That is exactly how the industry works outside of Writing Gig opportunities through the ISA. It could take forever for a company to read and review your submission, and oftentimes you may never even hear back from them. Still…I get it. The ISA is working on streamlining the administrative process of the Gigs, I promise.

What I see, regularly, when reviewing Writing Gig submissions is hundreds and hundreds of loglines. They’re all in a list, next to the title of the project and name of the writer. That is the first thing I see, and every reader and executive at the ISA sees when we first log in to the submission database. So what do we do? We start reading the loglines, duh. We don’t immediately open the screenplay and read the entire thing. We’re vetting the project based on the logline and considering if the concept fits the Gig’s mandate and request.

At LEAST 15% of the submissions, regardless of the strength of the logline, are submitted to Gig opportunities that don’t even match the genre request! Sometimes I see pilots submitted to Gig opportunities when the mandate is asking for features! Folks! What the heck? Take this seriously. I beg of you. If a producer told you that she’s looking for female-driven action-comedies in the feature space that can be made for under $10 million, why would you send her your half-hour comedy pilot about three dudes living in a bomb shelter? It reeks of desperation and amateur, and shows people that you don’t even know how to follow basic directions.

Getting back to the logline…

Loglines are really difficult to write. I get it. But I want to help you understand them a bit better, and to help you see how you can develop yours. For the paid subscribers, I am sharing a detailed rundown of how to develop your logline, step-by-step, in order to help you get a stronger grasp on how to approach this all-too important element of your writing and of the industry.

To give you a very basic piece of advice: a logline is NOT a tagline. Don’t send me a logline that says something like, “Beware of the people under the stairs.” Is that it? Is that a story? You would be surprised how often I read loglines that are trying to be these tricksy little marketing tags as if they will present wonder and intrigue. If I don’t know what your story is, what your 2nd Act might be in a Feature, I’ll pass immediately even if your script might be the greatest damn thing since Casablanca. Also, don’t ask questions in your logline. All that does is make me wonder if you’ve figured it out. It doesn’t make me want to read the script in order to get the answer.

Present the hook. Present the character. Present the pursuit/goal. Present the obstacle.

Keep reading. Keep writing. In the meantime, I’m offering an end-of-year holiday special on my personal coaching and consulting packages.

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If you have questions, email me - max@thestoryfarm.org

Let’s Talk About The Logline

If you have any intention of getting a manager, producer, agent, or any other kind of entertainment executive or professional interested in reading your script... yes, the logline is extremely important. Let me put it this way, in the ISA's Development Program, we take writers under our wing and not only help them with their material, but we submit their material to industry pros around town. But the first iteration of that outreach - the first line of defense - is purely through a list of loglines.

One of my primary duties with the ISA is to create relationships with executives around town so that I can send your material to them. So yes, they are already trusting me since I'm a new relationship and a trusted industry pro myself, BUT... no executive will immediately trust a complete script and start reading it without some form of an introduction to its story. That introduction, folks, is the logline.

The logline presents these four primary elements:

• Establishes a character with a problem
• Proves genre
• Shows the unique hook (the 2nd Act)
• Provides the situational recurring moment with a goal/pursuit

In a way, I could end the lesson right there and just tell you to define each of the above elements for your own project (which you should do, anyway). If those four elements are not in your logline, though, you're doing it wrong. Plain and simple. BUT... I am taking it upon myself to help you write the best damn logline possible for your particular project WHILE also helping you develop your concept and story through the development of a logline.

TV WRITERS: take note, this is important.

Loglines are not only for feature writers! In a very big way, your job in the realm of writing a logline is even more important. It's more important because you need to not only sell the idea behind a pilot, but the first season, and the full series. So, at the very least, when creating your series pitch deck, you will need those three loglines at the very beginning of it. This will prove to any executive that you have not only one pilot episode figured out, but an entire series... and it is the series as a whole that an executive will want. Not just your pilot.

OK...let's get on with it...

There are four primary components to any story: Flawed Hero, Secondary Helper, 2nd Act Obstacle, and Villain/Threat

Those four elements need to be in every story, but also presented in your logline. It is, however, more important to address what all four of these elements create. The "Hook," or what I call, the recurring moment. We've all heard the term "hook" before, but it's rare to hear anyone actually be able to break down that term in a way that's at all understandable. By calling it a recurring moment, it's much easier to SEE and understand at its most basic level.

Here is an example of a logline that not only shows all four of the story elements, but as a whole, proves the story's "hook":

“A workaholic lawyer and absent father is unable to tell a lie for 24 hours during the biggest case of his career because his son made a birthday wish for his dad to never tell a lie.”

This is obviously the logline for Jim Carrey's, LIAR, LIAR. It's not perfect, but it's useful in that it centers around the primary moment that the audiences will see throughout the middle of the movie. And that is?

That a lawyer will be physically unable to lie for a full day. That moment is entertaining enough to see and experience over and over again. It's enough to at least carry the comedy of the story. It is not, though, enough to deliver a fully developed movie because...why? Because that moment needs the rest of the story elements to anchor it. It needs the son that the lawyer has ignored. It needs the "biggest case of his career" as a goal. It needs the "workaholic" so that we see how difficult it will be for him to tell the truth as a lawyer.

It often helps to start the logline with the flaw of the hero. In this case, it's "workaholic and absent father." It's important because it shows what he will NOT be by the end of the story. In other words, by saying he is a workaholic and an absent father, we, the reader, know that overcoming those flaws will be part of his overall arc, and therefore he will be at least partially opposite (in some ways, completely opposite) of who he was at the beginning.

If we wanted to get terribly formulaic, just to help you build your own logline, here is a template - a nearly "plug and play" template - of how to build it.

"When a flawed hero experiences some kind of an event that either introduces him to a secondary helper, or that secondary helper pushes him toward a new adventure in order to overcome an obstacle usually in the form of a villain within a very specific type of situation, a twist occurs that sends the hero in a new direction and completely changes everything."

Uh, yeah, that's as boring as a logline description could be, BUT it has the elements of a plug-and-play, and it's just a fun little reminder of a logline's structure and make up.

Here are two possible examples of what can help you create a hook and recurring moment:

A normal character forced into an extraordinary situation.

or

An extraordinary character dealing with normal situations.

What do those statements naturally create? A unique situation as a whole. You could say, "a unique character in a unique situation," but usually a unique character helps CREATE the unique situation because we haven't seen that type of character in that type of situation before... and usually an extraordinary character dealing with something normal, boring, or every-day, is more interesting than seeing a super-soldier fighting in a super war. Though that can be fun sometimes, I digress...

Focus on the moment that occurs over and over again in the middle of your script - the 2nd Act. In my fantasy novel, The WishKeeper, the recurring moment is, "A rebellious, disabled teenage fairy fighting not only an evil force hell bent on finding a True Love Wish before she does, while managing the heartbreak of reconciling with her parents."

Did you notice what that statement resembles? A logline!

A Note for TV Writers:

There will be a recurring moment in your pilot episode (it's the weekly "situation" for the characters, or the type of case that the two detectives will try and solve), but there will be an overarching situation in the first season too. So you will want to write more than just your pilot logline. There should be a Series Logline, a First Season Logline, and a Pilot Logline.

To sum up…in its most basic form: make sure you let the reader of your logline know what the 2nd Act of your Feature will be. Don’t give them just a basic set-up. We need to know what the character will pursue in the 2nd Act. In your TV-focused Pilot logline, it’s the same approach. What is the pursuit of the episode? In your FIrst Season Logline - what is the overall pursuit for the Series? For your Series logline, you’re really just focusing on the general hook of the entirety of the series; what the audience can expect to see in terms of a recurring moment in every episode.

Practice your loglines! Post them to the Story Farm Circle membership forum. I can give you some thoughts there, and so can your peers. Don’t write in a vacuum. Connect and communicate and ask for help. That’s why I’m here.

Keep working hard.

Max and The Story Farm offer all of his Substack content to ISA members for free, but a week or more after the original post was sent. If you would like to receive his most up to date Substack posts, as well as participate in a community of writers through his subscription and the Substack app, you can do so by going here, www.substack.com/@thestoryfarm