Ask Phil: Am I Too Weird?

Screenwriter and therapist Phil Stark answers reader questions from the intersection of screenwriting and mental health.

Many of the problems we face as screenwriters are related to the reality of the craft: third act structure, navigating notes, character development, the pitch process, etc. At the same time, there are personal and emotional issues that influence the practical work: imposter syndrome, the inner critic, shame and anger, professional jealousy, etc. I have the screenwriting experience to address questions about the practical aspects of the work, and the therapy experience to explore the personal and emotional considerations that inform the work of screenwriting.

My email address will be at the end of every column, so please send in your questions and comments about life at the intersection of screenwriting and mental health. It’s a busy intersection!

This week Ask Phil hears from an Unconventional Writer about their struggle to write in their own unique voice while still creating material that might resonate in the marketplace, as well as the psychological reasons behind their unique voice.

Dear Phil,

Screenwriting is my new love and I love everything about it, but my fear is that the subjects I want to write on are not mainstream enough to get produced. I am a very unconventional person with unique tastes. How do I know if I am purposefully (subconsciously) seeking the safety of isolating myself or if I truly just don't connect with many people, and either way, do you have any advice for me?

Signed, Very Unconventional

Dear Very Unconventional,

Thank you for what seems like a Very Unconventional question. Many screenwriters are focused on what movies are popular and what scripts are selling and how they can write something that the marketplace seems to be asking for. However, it is often the scripts that don’t seem marketable and are unlike what is popular and what is selling that showcase our unique voice in ways that readers respond to, and then want to work with us to incorporate our unique voice into their projects. 

So at first glance, hearing you are an unconventional person with unique tastes sound like a good starting point for a screenwriting career, in that you probably write scripts that have a point of view that’s different and new compared to what most people are writing.

Related: Ask Phil: Calling It Quits

To have a unique voice and write scripts that are different from what we are seeing in the marketplace and on the screen right now is an asset, and I would encourage you to continue to follow your voice and write scripts that appeal to you rather than trying to write to the market. 

This is a common piece of advice in this column, but the uncommon part of your question seems to ask if you are actually sabotaging a possible screenwriting career by writing material that is so different and out there that there’s no way anyone would ever want to make a movie out of it. It is a deep cut in the self psychological realm to recognize that what drives you to create the art you create might also be a reaction to the fear of being accepted or deep rooted feelings of self-criticism that prevent you from creating something you think people might like, resulting in you going so far away from popular taste that no-one will respond to your work, which then confirms your fears.

I do have advice for you, Very Unconventional. First of all, I would encourage you to continue to write to your own voice. Sometimes in writing something we are sure nobody would ever want to make we end up with the sample that allows us to break into the industry. Of course, you might have to deal with acceptance and success, but no matter how strong our inner critic is that can be a better problem than dealing with lack of acceptance and success. 

Related: Ask Phil: How Should I Sample?

And of course, being a therapist, I also think exploring this aspect of yourself in therapy would be a great benefit to you. We tend to be our own worst enemy in life, both professionally and romantically. By that I mean there is often a conflict between what we think we want and how we go about trying to get it. We might want screenwriting success, or romantic relationships, but if our self-image is of someone who does not deserve or will never achieve these things, then no matter how hard we pursue them we will always be making it more difficult for ourselves. This is the kind of dynamic that is best explored in therapy, where we can enjoy a safe, supportive environment to be curious and vulnerable in exploring our personal history to find the answers to these questions.

I would also encourage you to consider if screenwriting is the right format for you to express yourself. Screenwriting is one of the few forms of art where we create something that is not meant to be read by the person who eventually experiences the result of our work. Screenwriting is a Frankenstein combination of writing and producing, and because of this it is inherently collaborative, and no matter how much we want our vision to be presented on its own it will always be a team effort. 

Maybe you would find more creative satisfaction in an artistic field where your voice is the only one that matters. Writing different material like fiction, personal essays, or poetry for instance. You might even explore the visual arts, like sculpture and painting. It’s hard enough to find the artistic path that gives you the most creative satisfaction. It’s even harder to sync this path with professional and financial success. And of course, the triple crown of this situation is to finally do it all in a way that makes you happy! But I think that’s the goal, and you are on the road to it.

Therapist and screenwriter Phil Stark answers reader questions about topics at the intersection of screenwriting and mental health. Got a question for Phil? Email him at starktalktherapy@gmail.com