Bill Maher Jokes Pope Francis Survived a 38-Day Hospital Stay Only to Be ‘Keeled Right Over’ by JD Vance

Bill Maher kicked off Friday’s episode of “Real Time” by paying homage to the late Pope Francis and, of course, mocking Vice President JD Vance who happened to meet with the religious leader just hours before he died.

“He was 88-years-old, had just finished a 38-day stay in the hospital, got a lung infection and pneumonia, met JD for half an hour and keeled right over,” Maher joked.

Maher spent a good portion of this week’s monologue talking about Pope Francis, who died Monday after suffering stroke and of subsequent heart failure. “Sad, sad week, the pope died, fentanyl is no joke” Maher said. “Pope Francis was the first pope from South America. So he will rest in repose for eight days at the Vatican and then ICE will come by and ship him to El Salvador.”

Maher noted that this week, Wednesday to be specific, would also mark Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office, a well-known benchmark to measure the initial success of a president’s term. “It’s always a big thing when the president has his first 100 days,” Maher said. “Time really flies when you’re in the fetal position.”  

Maher then shifted his focus the “kooky cabinet members” Trump has put in office, specifically, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. The former Fox News host make headlines again this week for sharing even more sensitive information on a Signal group chat, just weeks after facing backlash for including the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic Jeffrey Goldberg in a message involving “imminent war plans.”  

“What a scad!” Maher said while talking about Hegseth’s latest blunder. “He was caught sharing top secret information. Well he did it again! He shared attack plans with his wife, his brother, his lawyer. Pete says it’s no big deal. The brother and the lawyer can completely be trusted, and the wife doesn’t believe anything he says anyway.”

Maher also took aim at Hegseth for news that came out of the Pentagon that he was installing a makeup room. “Pete denies this. He’s says it’s not a makeup room. And this is true, he says it’s just a countertop, a tall directors chair, a mirror, a makeup light and a pink neon sign that says ‘You go girl!’ Other than that it is not a makeup room. Do not get confused people.”

Maher commented that shockingly the president does not seem to be that bothered. “Trumps position is that he’s standing by Pete, and blaming Al Gore for inventing the internet.”   

“Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays on HBO.

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